


you had me at hi

by crazyqueerecrivain



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Deaf Character, F/F, Lexa runs a Homeless Shelter, Minor Monty Green/Nathan Miller, Minor Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Minor Transgender Character, Past Clarke Griffin/Niylah, Past Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Past Finn Collins/Raven Reyes, athletic Clarke, deaf lexa, musically talented lexa, past lexa/costia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-05-20 20:17:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6023314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyqueerecrivain/pseuds/crazyqueerecrivain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke Griffin is almost 26 years old, yet she hasn't had a serious relationship in a while. What she does have, is an assertive friend who gives her number to pretty girls. </p><p>Lexa Woods went deaf at the age of nine and hasn't had a functioning relationship since she was 18. When her cousin steps in, she gets a little overwhelmed. </p><p>or an au no one asked for where Clarke is a high school teacher and Lexa owns her own company. there's only one hurtle, Lexa is deaf and super self-concious when it comes to her deafness. so yeah, that was a bad summary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, so I am not deaf nor am I very close to anyone who is deaf. SO feel free to keep me in check if I eff up. I'm not super familiar with ASL so I just put the dialogue that I imagined signed in italics. Hope y'all enjoy

Clarke was grading exams when she got the text.

**Hi, is this Clarke Griffin?**

The last time she had gotten a text from an unknown number asking if it was her, it was a parent angry that Clarke had given their son a D, despite the fact that she really should have failed him.

**Yes, who is this?**

Clarke was expecting a lack of response, or even a parent. Clarke was not expecting what she got. 

**Oh, sorry. My name is Lexa.**

**My cousin Indra owns the boxing gym on**

**Third. Apparently your friend Octavia gave**

**her your number to give to me to text**

**because “Griffin needs to get laid”**

**but please don’t feel any pressure**

**to actually go out with me. I’m not**

**that desperate, and I doubt you are.**

Clarke smiled, rolling her eyes. She and Octavia had met when Clarke was in the fourth grade after Aurora Blake moved to Washington D.C., finally escaping from her abusive and crazy ex, who made Octavia live under the floor. Clarke had just had a fight with Wells, so she was sulking on the swing alone. Octavia had come over and simply said, “I’m Octavia. You’re it!” She tagged Clarke and ran; the rest was history.

“Hey O!” Clarke called across their mutual apartment. “Is there a reason you asked a random woman to sleep with me?” Octavia appeared in Clarke’s bedroom, grinning. 

“She’s hot, and in my defense, not a complete stranger.” Octavia grinned, pulling something up on her phone.

Clarke raised an eyebrow, “How hot?” Octavia, seemingly anticipating the question, held out her phone. She had an Instagram profile pulled up. “WoodedLexa huh?” Clarke was sure it wasn’t Octavia’s intention, but the photos made Clarke not want to sleep with Lexa. It wasn’t because she wasn’t attractive, she just, Clarke could see herself having a future with the girl. She shook it off.

“Well, are you doing to text her back or?” Octavia teased. Clarke grunted but pulled up the conversation.

**And if I’d like to go out with you?**

**How’s next Friday at 6:30 sound?**

“Yo, are you still going out with Bell tonight?” Octavia asked, finding her way to Clarke’s closet.

Clarke nodded, “Yeah, as long as I can finish grading these FRQs.” Clarke motioned to the pile of papers scattered across her bed.

“The fuck is an FRQ?” Octavia squinted her eyes at Clarke, before Clarke launched into a long spiel about free response questions, and AP biology.

* * *

 

Clarke was not nervous. Clarke did not get nervous about dates. She was twenty-five, almost twenty-six years old, first dates were not daunting. She did not spend forty-five minutes setting up a tent in her apartment and cooking camp food from scratch. That was not who Clarke Griffin was and no body outside of Raven and Octavia would ever get to know the truth.

“Okay kid, I’m leaving you to your date. I’ll be out with Lincoln if you need anything. Text me if I should be staying the night with him.” Octavia pulled Clarke into a hug before Clarke could even groan. She loved Octavia, she really did, but god was the younger girl annoying.

Clarke didn’t like to advertise the fact that she was a romantic, but anyone who dated her for more than a few weeks knew perfectly well that she was disgustingly romantic. She had just finished her makeup when her phone buzzed.

**Hey Clarke, I don’t know if**

**I can make it tonight. It’s not**

**that I don’t want to be there, I**

**do, but I have a crapton of**

**work and my boss is super**

**uptight. I don’t think he’ll let**

**me leave. We should reschedule**

**though.**

Clarke gulped, not wanting to feel her heart drop. She hated disappointment. She really, really hated disappointment. Clarke clenched her jaw, and started to type out a message.

**Yeah, definitely. It’s no big**

**deal, you canceling, I mean.**

**I have a lot of midterms I should**

**be grading, so it helps me. Let**

**me know when you’re free.**

Clarke slipped off her dress and found her way into a nice, hot shower.

The first time Clarke felt true disappointment she was sixteen. She had been dating a boy named Finn, who transferred to Clarke’s high school their junior year. Clarke thought they were truly in love. Hell, Clarke lost her virginity to him. A month before prom, his actual girlfriend transferred in, a girl named Raven. Finn’s goodbye was a simple ‘I’m sorry’. He loved her first. Raven, though, didn’t take him cheating on her very well. Eventually, Raven and Clarke became friends, but it never changed the night Clarke spent at home, trying not to have emotions. 

Clarke let the hot water assault her skin, because who was she to be disappointed, she barely knew this girl. She did not know Lexa. They had simply texted for a few days. Nothing more. Clarke hadn’t even met Lexa in person.

“Princess?” Clarke hadn’t realized how much time had passed until she heard Bellamy’s voice. Bellamy didn’t love the idea of Clarke dating a stranger (even if Octavia did know of her), so they set up a deal if Clarke didn’t text before 8, he would come check on her.

They spent the night with popcorn and Netflix.

* * *

 

Lexa was not good at emotions. She had lost her hearing when she was nine years old, and along with it, her ability to express herself. Boxing was Lexa’s escape. When she was boxing, the silence wasn’t so bad. She nearly hit Anya in the gut before she realized who it was who tapped her shoulder.

 _“Lexa, what are you doing here?”_ Anya signed, making it painfully obvious she didn’t approve of Lexa’s presence.

 _“What do you mean? I train here, just like you.”_ Lexa knew it wasn’t what her older sister wanted, but she wasn’t willing to give in that soon.

 _“I believe you had a date.”_ It was clear Anya was castigating Lexa. _“C’mon Lex, why aren’t you with that girl.”_  

 _“She doesn’t know. I was getting ready to go, and I realized she doesn’t know. How are we supposed to communicate?”_ Lexa was genuinely concerned about communication with Clarke, but she knew she could do it. She had had relationships with hearing girls before. She was crap at reading lips, but those relationships didn’t generally have a lot of talking involved; usually there was more moaning than actual words.

 _“That’s a bullshit excuse and you know it. You haven’t been with something serious since Costia.”_ Costia. Lexa had met Costia when she was seventeen. Costia was three years older and introduced the world to Lexa. Costia was Lexa’s first kiss, her first love, her first everything. On their first date Costia made a joke about someone with a hearing aid, and said she’d never date someone who couldn’t hear her. Lexa managed to keep her deafness from Costia for almost a year. When Costia found out, she left Lexa and took her heart with her. _“Call her Lexa. You’ll be happier if you do.”_ Lexa only nodded, before turning back to her punching bag. Anya just rolled her eyes, leaving her sister to her stupid choices.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lexa calls Clarke back and Octavia gets angry at Lexa

Clarke was just about to exit her classroom when her phone rang. Grumbling, Clarke shifted her bag to one shoulder and pulled out the ringing device. “Hello?” Clarke answered, waving to a passing student.

“Hey Clarke, it Lexa. Sorry about canceling on you.” Clarke let out a laugh, finding herself biting her lip. Lexa’s voice was prettier than she’d imagine.

“Hey Lexa. It’s fine really I got so much work done.” Clarke smiled, pressing the phone against her ear so she could wave to another smiling student.

“I’d like to reschedule if that’s okay with you. I was wondering about how next Wednesday sounded?” Clarke refused to get her hopes up, but the butterflies starting to fly around in her stomach begged to differ.

“Miss G?” Clarke turned to find one of her students, Tris waving her down.

“Lexa can you hold that thought for a just a second?” Clarke asked, muting her phone without waiting for a response. “Hey Tris what’s up?”

“I was kind of bummed about my midterm” Tris started timidly. Clarke tried to think back to her midterm specifically. If Clarke was correct, Tris got a 72, which wasn’t awful on an AP midterm. “I was wondering if we could go over it after school?”

Clarke nodded; this day was a wonderful one. First, Lexa asked her out (not that Clarke was getting excited, she wasn’t), and second a student actually wanted her help. “Sure, which day would you prefer?”

“Can we do next Tuesday?” Tris asked, seemingly timid. Clarke nodded, and with a wave, Clarke said goodbye to her student. 

“Hey Lexa, are you still there?” Clarke asked after unmuting her cell phone. She was half-hoping that Lexa had left. If Lexa and she never set a date, Lexa couldn’t hurt her again. 

“Yeah, I’m still here Clarke.” Lexa answered, though her voice seemed to be softer than before.

“Wednesday sounds good, but I do have to be home by ten.” Lexa laughed, making Clarke smile as she finally got out of the building.

“You have a curfew do you?” Lexa asked. Clarke rolled her eyes, hoping her emotions weren’t all over her face.

“I teach high school,” Clarke offered with a laugh, “those places start during unholy hours of the morning.” Lexa laughed at that. 

“What’s early for you?” She asked. Clarke contemplated her mornings as she beeped her car open. 

“Well, the first bell rings at 7:20, and my first alarm goes off at 5:45, but I’m usually not up until closer to 6:45.” Lexa scoffed over the phone.

“That’s early for you?” Clarke gagged, squirming in her seat. She had never been able to get up earlier than 7:00 her entire life, and on weekends, she still was never up until at least 9:00 if not later. “Clarke I’m at the office before you even get up.” Lexa laughed, and with that, so did Clarke.

“That’s gross. So next Wednesday, say 5:00?” Clarke asked.

“Yeah, sounds perfect. See you then Clarke.”

“Bye Lexa.”

* * *

 _“Hey Lex!”_ Anya came up behind Lexa. _“How’s the new phone software?”_  

 _“It’s alright. It’s still weird that an interpreter is a part of our conversation, but at least the other person doesn’t know.”_ Anya’s face fell, and Lexa knew she knew. Anya had always seen through any lie Lexa told, even if it was a lie of omission.

 _“Still haven’t told Clarke that you’re deaf?”_ Anya asked, making Lexa huff. _“Don’t make me make you take action.”_ Lexa laughed; when they were kids, whenever Lexa didn’t want to do something, Anya would threaten to intervene and Lexa would suddenly find motivation. _“Octavia.”_ Anya signed, motioning to an incoming girl. 

“Hey,” Octavia waved, “we need to talk.” She turned to Anya, “Anyway you can interpret?” Anya nodded, hoping this conversation was going to be about Clarke. “All right, Lexa, if you hurt her again, I will break your face.” Anya growled protectively, but interpreted the words nonetheless. 

“What do you mean Octavia?” Lexa asked, genuinely confused. Since it was Octavia, she assumed the ‘her’ was Clarke, but she had no idea when she hurt Clarke.

“That bullshit move about your boss? Clarke was really excited about your date and then you canceled. Lexa you’re your own boss. If you bail on her again, my fists will collide with your face.” Octavia growled. She was worried her tone would be lost on Lexa, but the look on Anya’s face really conveyed the message.

 _“That was not your excuse Lexa. That’s lame.”_ Anya added.

 _“Yes; don’t add more to the end.”_ Anya laughed; her sister was doing well reading lips. “Octavia, yes, I bailed, but it wasn’t a problem. She said she was grading midterms the entire night.” Lexa shrugged. Octavia growled and rolled her eyes.

“She finished midterms three days before your date.” Octavia paused with a sigh, “Look, Lexa, she’s like you; she’s got a hard exterior, but she’s mushy inside.” Octavia shifted from one foot to another. “So help me God if you tell her I told you about that, I will hurt you as well.” 

Lexa laughed, “You’re a little violent today, but Octavia how do I do it?” Lexa was so conflicted. She wanted this, but she didn’t want it. She nearly groaned; she really, really, hated emotions. 

“Do what?” Octavia asked; Lexa bowed her head, not saying anything. 

“Communicate with her.” Anya offered after a long silence. Octavia rolled her eyes, earning her a light slap from Lexa’s older sister. 

“You communicate me just fine!” It must have seemed obvious to Octavia; she had normal human emotions.

“With Indra, or Anya!” Lexa raised her voice, unaware of her change in volume. “I don’t want to have an interpreter if I’m on a date with a girl I like! For God’s sakes I’m terrified.” Lexa didn’t realize there were tears starting to well in her eyes until they threatened to spill over. Quickly, Lexa wiped her eyes.

“Just talk to her Lexa. I’m not saying she won’t hurt you, but it won’t be because you’re deaf.” Octavia stormed off before Anya could finish interpreting. Octavia’s words cut to the bone. She threw her hair up into a ponytail, before finding her way to her office, hoping that mundane finances would take her away from her heart.


	3. Chapter 3

Lexa was doing something very stupid, and as much as she knew it, she couldn’t make herself not do it. It should have been simple. How hard could telling someone that she was deaf be? She folded the square piece of paper carefully. They never quite worked properly for Lexa, but she was going to try her hardest.

Lexa spun around, feeling a tap on her shoulder. _“What are you doing Lexa?”_ One of her girls asked in broken sign language.

 _“I…”_ Lexa hesitated, unsure what was inappropriate to discuss. Lexa shrugged, her girls would know regardless; Anya had loose lips. _“I have a date tomorrow night, and I’m making a fortune teller. Lame?”_

The younger girl’s grin grew on her face. _“That’s awesome!”_ Lexa sighed. If a sixteen-year-old thought her date idea was cool, it couldn’t be awful. Then again, at sixteen Lexa was in her ‘I’m 50% gay and 50% straight’ phase.

 _“You think?”_ Lexa signed, before folding the edges together and upward creating the three-dimensional model. _“So, what should I write on? I was thinking favorite color, but that seems mundane.”_

Lexa fumbled with the fortuneteller. _“I just got home from reviewing my biology midterm, you could ask her what her favorite biological pick up line?”_

Lexa laughed, an annoyance settling over her. She really hated insecurities, why did she have to be insecure about her fucking laugh. It’s not like she had fucking heard it since she was nine and back then she loved her laugh. _“Do I want to know yours?”_

 _“I actually only know one,”_ Lexa raised an eyebrow, dreading the chance that **the** biology pickup line hadn’t changed since she was taking biology. _“If I were an…”_ The girl paused, probably realizing that she had no idea how to sign what was to follow.

“Enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.” Lexa finished, wincing at her pronunciation of helicase. When she was a sophomore taking biology, a lot of the kids gave her crap because she didn’t say it the same way.

Lexa’s girl grinned; _“You know it?”_ Lexa nodded.

 _“I’m not that old kid.”_ Lexa rolled her eyes pulling out her phone, deciding to text Clarke before she chickened out.

 _“I should go study, good luck Lexa.”_ The brunette waved, getting up and heading to her room.

 _“Bye Tris.”_ Lexa signed before the younger girl turned away.

 

**you’re going to think I’m drunk**

**I’m so afraid; continue**

**what’s your favorite science pick up line?**

**Aw man, do you really want to open that door?**

**absolutely**

**Well**

**If I were an enzyme I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your jeans**

**Always a classic, but there are plenty more**

**If you’re looking for a sexual line, like above**

**That dress would look even better accelerating towards my bedroom floor at**

**Then there’s some that have a little more tact**

**Are you full of beryllium, gold and titanium?**

**Because you are BeAuTi-full**

**Are you made up of copper and tellurium?**

**Because you are CuTe**

**Are you a carbon sample?**

**Because I want to date you**

**Do you have 11 protons?**

**Cause you are Sodium cute**

**W O W Clarke**

**I can continue if you’d like**

**But yes I warned you**

**you know what you giving me six bad science pick up lines means?**

**What?**

**I have to give you six bad English pick up lines**

**Bring it on**

**Besides my pick up lines were golden**

**you must be reading _Fahrenheit 451 because you’re smokin’_**

**_it’s funny that you’re reading Tennessee Williams because you’re the only ten I see_ **

**_I’d Fight to go to a Club with you_ **

**_I give up; English pick up lines aren’t even corny_ **

**** **_#ScienceIsEverywhere_ **

**_#ScienceWins_ ** ****

* * *

“Claaaaaaaarke!” Raven cooed as she made her way through the restaurant where Clarke and Octavia were already sitting. Raven couldn’t just walk down the aisle; that would be far too simple for her. When she was eighteen, she was involved in a gnarly car accident and lost use of her lower left leg. Clarke would love to blame what she called ‘the Raven Saunter’ on the brace, but if they were being honest, she had it beforehand.

“Birdie! Why don’t you love me?” Octavia called, reaching out to touch Raven’s forthcoming hand.

“My mom called me Birdie jackass.” Raven teased, nudging Octavia playfully. Clarke knew there was major animosity between Raven and her mom, but Octavia being Octavia had helped Raven reclaim the nickname.

Octavia slung her arm around Raven’s shoulders and started to give her a noogie, before Raven squirmed out of the younger girl’s hold and slipped next to Clarke. Octavia stuck her tongue out at Raven, but continued nonetheless. “I don’t know about Rave there, but Clarke, I would like to know what’s got you glowing.”

“Or should we say who?” Raven added, “Talked to Lexa lately?” Clarke groaned, but her heart swelled. She loved her friends. Octavia had spent her first eight years under a floor, and Raven ran away from her mother who could not have cared less about her at thirteen, and spent the next five years fighting for emancipation and living in an adolescent shelter. Somehow, Raven and Octavia still were possibly the two best people Clarke knew.

“I am not glowing, for your information.” Clarke verified. She wasn’t glowing, but she was all smiley from the pickup line conversation. “I have talked to Lexa recently. We discussed super hot sex positions we wanted to try.” Clarke rolled her eyes.

Octavia shifted, seemingly uncomfortable. It was a minute shift that only three people (maybe four, Clarke wasn’t sure where Lincoln’s Octavia-reading skills were at) would have been able to pick up, but two of those people were sitting at that table. “What are you hiding O?” Raven raised her eyebrows.

“Did you and Lexa talk about anything?” Octavia asked. Clarke was confident that some people viewed Octavia as a good liar, but Clarke was not one of those people.

“Lie of omission is still a lie O.” Clarke warned, waiting for what the big secret was. Octavia ran her tongue across her teeth.

“That’s for her to tell you. Now, talk to me more about these hot sex positions.” Clarke just rolled her eyes, trying not to let anxiety pool at the bottom of her stomach, as the girls launched into frivolous sex talk.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Clarke and Lexa meet at Lexa's parent's old coffee shop/café thing

Lexa had no idea what song was blasting through her ear buds, but she knew it when it lulled and transitioned to the next song. She couldn’t hear the music, not really. She could vaguely hear the beat, but more than anything, she could feel the bass. Lexa have loved music before the accident. Hell, she had played piano and saxophone with fluency, and she could muster her way through a few measures of guitar and viola. Before her parents died, Lexa had taken private piano and saxophone lessons. She had taken viola at school and tried to teach herself guitar. It didn’t feel right, playing music without her mom grinning from the far corner of the room. It didn’t feel right without her dad nodding consistently as Lexa hit the right notes. 

Lexa could still feel the music. It wasn’t music she missed. She missed the feeling that came along with it. She missed her dad dancing her and Anya around as her mom created music with her mouth. She turned her attention from her memories to the small red folded piece of paper in her hands. The future was scary and Lexa wasn’t a fan. She fiddled with it, going through her own answers to the questions. 

**blue, b-l-u-e. 3, one-two-three. 1: favorite color?**

Lexa had decided to just go with her crappy questions. She was musically inclined, but that was the end to her creative ability. Lexa had always been partial to the color red. It was a powerful color, the color of blood, but it could also be soft.

**purple, p-u-r-p-l-e. 5, one-two-three-four-five. 3: speak any languages?**

When she had been told that she’d have to learn sign language in order to communicate, Lexa was terrified. She had a full nine years of life experience, four of which were spent learning Spanish, or rather failing to learn Spanish. All Lexa had retained was ‘hola me llamo Lexa’. ASL was actually easier than she had expected, but a challenge nonetheless. Anya learning as well helped Lexa a lot.

Lexa nearly crapped herself when her ear buds were plucked from her ears and someone kissed her cheek. From behind her, her older sister appeared. No one else would have dared to come up on Lexa. There was an unspoken rule at the old café, Anya’s gym and Lexa’s place that everyone approached Lexa from the front.

“Ark.” Anya said; Lexa squinted her eyes, as if that would help her understand what Anya had said. A blonde with kind blue eyes stood next to Anya.

“Clarke.” Lexa smiled, motioning for Clarke to sit across from her. The old coffee shop was quaint, and felt like home; though, ghosts of young memories ran rampant through the small business. “Pick a color and point.” Lexa instructed. The girl said something, but Lexa kept her eyes to the fortuneteller. She picked green. “G-R-E-E-N” Lexa showed the numbers to Clarke, who pointed to the number three. “One, two, three.” Lexa displayed the last options before Clarke would answer a question. Clarke chose the number six.   
“Will you, write down your favorite memory for me?” Lexa asked, unfolding the fortuneteller and flipping it over. Clarke nodded and started to scrawl on the back of the sheet of the paper. With every passing moment, Lexa was thinking this idea was worse and worse. 

_ My Favorite Memory _ _by Clarke Griffin_

_When I was eighteen, my parents and I had our first Christmas with my friends. You know Octavia; well it was her, her brother, Bellamy, and her mom, Aurora. Plus one of my best friends Raven. They always spend the holidays with us now, but that was the first year. Bellamy accidently set the music to a waltz, instead of Christmas music. My dad wouldn’t let the music change until he and Bellamy had danced with each one of us. They took turns, dancing two of us at a time, but once we had finished one round, it didn’t end. Eventually we were all there dancing like losers to waltz music and at some point we all fell onto each other. So Lexa, ~~would you like me to just ignore the fact that you’re deaf or…~~ It doesn’t change anything, but I am curious._

Lexa looked up with a grin. An adorably mischievous glint settled in Clarke’s eyes. “How did you know?” Clarke had a very distinct ‘are you shitting me?’ look, and she was definitely giving it to Lexa now.

Clarke took the paper back from Lexa. _My mom’s a doctor; I was premed before I decided to teach. I may be blonde but I’m not stupid. ~~Can I ask a few questions, or not quite yet? You know what this means? Each date you have to teach me a new sign.~~ Okay?_

Lexa found herself laughing. Clarke was refreshing in a crazy scary way. She was either going to be one of the best or the worst things to happen to Lexa. “Ask away Clarke. I can comply with the second.” Lexa passed the paper to Clarke. 

_You speak well; you weren’t born deaf? Or did you have mad speech therapy?_

“No I wasn’t born deaf. I was in a car accident when I was nine and I shattered stuff in my ears. It’s complex stuff you probably understand more than I do. Also, ‘mad speech therapy’ really Clarke?” Lexa grinned; the last person she had seen use the word mad in conversation was a thirteen-year-old boy. A buzz made Lexa jump, her gaze shifting to the table. Lexa groaned, “I’m sorry Clarke, I have to go. It’s work.” Clarke nodded, a smile growing across her face, before passing Lexa one last note.

_Wait, you have to teach me one sign remember._

Lexa nodded, thinking over what it would be. “Octavia said you were an artist, sketches right?” Clarke nodded, a smile appearing across her face. Lexa made her left hand into a ‘C’ and used her pinky to scribble. Clarke’s eyes knit together, as if trying to understand what Lexa was doing. She mimicked it clumsily. “It’s you name.” Clarke was very clearly still confused, so Lexa elaborated. “It’s your name sign. A flat hand is draw, but your name starts with a ‘c’. It makes it easier than C-L-A-R-K-E.” Clarke nodded, and watched Lexa as she got up and headed to the door. It certainly was a unique first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea what I was doing with the name sign, so I hope y'all didn't mind it. Also I didn't really know how'd they communicate, but we'll see where it goes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Griffin parents and Aurora Blake visit and Lexa worries about Halloween.

She had completely forgotten about her parents visit until Raven pounced on a very asleep Clarke. “Clarke! Clarke! Clarke! Momma and Papa Griff and Momma Blake are here! C’mon Sleepy Head!” Clarke groaned, rolling over. Knowing her parents, they had driven all night just to surprise Raven, the surprising early riser.

“Rave, let Sleeping Beauty do just that!” Clarke heard her dad call from the other room. Raven bounced a little more on Clarke’s bed, but eventually she climbed off and let the blonde rest. Clarke knew that she wouldn’t get back to bed, so, regretfully, Clarke rolled out of bed, literally. With a groan, she stood up and slipped into a pair of jeans and sweatshirt. To her surprise, someone knocked on the door.

“Come in.” Clarke called, making her way to the door. “Hey Momma!” Clarke smiled, her eyes still heavy with fatigue. Her mom’s eyes drifted around the room, taking in everything. Clarke realized the last time her mom had been to the apartment was when the three girls moved in two and a half years ago. Then Clarke’s room had been empty, but now it was covered with sketches and papers. There was a stack of AP prep books in the corner and sign language books on her desk. Clarke had never been what people called ‘organized’.

“Well, I’m surprised the floor is clean and your clothes are away.” Abby shrugged, looking down at Clarke’s desk. “ Since when is audiology apart of the biology curriculum?” Clarke didn’t miss the slightest bit of suggestion in her mom’s voice. She hadn’t been thrilled when Clarke sought her masters in education instead of applying to med school, but she tried her hardest to support her daughter nonetheless.

“I, uh, just outside interest.” Clarke offered; thinking of Lexa made her smile. Abby raised her eyebrows, a knowing look crossing her face.

“And sign language?” Abby baited, knowing Clarke had hated foreign language in school. There were countless time Clarke came home and complained about her French teacher, despite the fact that said French teacher was just about the sweetest teacher she had ever had.

Clarke sighed, running out of excuses. “Shut the door and I’ll spill.” Clarke offered, knowing her mom couldn’t resist. Once the door shut, the two convened on the bed. “I met a girl.” Clarke started hesitantly, and was greeted with an unholy squeal. She groaned; if she continued she’d never hear the end of it. “Anyway she’s deaf and can this conversation be over?” Abby looked at her daughter, obviously wanting to ask a million questions, but nodded. 

“C’mon kid, your dad has already started on the waffles.” Clarke sat at attention.

“Strawberry?” They had kind of a waffle thing in their family, each of them have specific ideas of what went into a waffle. Instead of arguing over what should be in it, or even altering (because when they started the tradition Octavia and Clarke were ten, and Bellamy was fourteen and none of them had the patience to wait their turns) Jake just separated the batter into six different bowls and each person got their own bowl. Clarke got strawberries; Octavia got M&Ms Bellamy got Oreos, Abby got chocolate chips; Aurora got banana (which Clarke would NEVER understand); and Jake ate them just plain.

“Is that even a question?” Abby grinned, pulling Clarke out the door to family.

* * *

Lexa had a love hate relationship with the next few months. It started in November. Suddenly, people would find the motivation to care. Suddenly, Lexa’s work became important to the rest of the world. There was nothing like Thanksgiving to help people realize that there were homeless kids. Then again, most people cared more to volunteer at the woman’s shelter where there were cute little kids. People just assume Lexa’s girls are sluts, rebels and bad kids. In truth, most of Lexa’s girls had been abused, and most of them were incredible young people. She liked the fact that the holidays brought light to the issue of the homeless youth, but it shouldn’t only be seen in the last two months of the year.

Lexa should have known when she opened up her shelter. She had run away from three of her five foster homes before she finally ended up in a shelter herself. She was eleven when she found herself truly alone the first time. A hand on her arm broke her from her thoughts before they could drift to countless bus station benches.

When Lexa looked up, Anya was beside her. _“Thinking about your girl?”_ Lexa sighed. She had been thinking about Clarke, before she had transitioned to the past. Clarke could, and did, guess that Lexa was deaf, but Lexa wasn’t positive what Clarke would think when she learned that Lexa owned a shelter for homeless youth and she was at work before Clarke was awake because she lived at work.

 _“No, not really, more the holidays. I’m not sure what I’m going to do for Halloween, but I want to do something. Aden and Charlotte are still so young. They should be able to trick or treat.”_ Aden was the only boy they had at the shelter, a ten-year-old transgender boy who had been kicked out of his home after he came out to his parents. His twin sister Charlotte stood up for him, but their parents wouldn’t listen. Charlotte ran away to be with Aden, and when their parents found out that’s where she’d gone, they told her she could rot in hell with “her sister”. 

 _“I could ask around the gym? See if anyone could make costumes. We could bring them around someone’s block?”_ Anya suggested. Usually their kids were older when they came to the shelter. The girls were in their mid teens, they had been to hell and back and the last thing they wanted to do was trick or treat on some stupid holiday. Each Halloween they threw a party with candy and music, but they didn’t worry about costumes or going door to door.

Anya hesitated and Lexa could tell she had more to say. _“What?”_ Anya shook her head. _“C’mon Anya, you have more to say.”_ Lexa always knew when her older sister was keeping something from her, which came in very handy around her birthday when they were little. 

 _“If you hadn’t started seeing Clarke, I’d say I’ll ask Octavia to ask her artist friend, but I don’t know how far you want to keep Clarke.”_ Anya offered gently.

Lexa thought about the idea. Any times she had dated, she kept the girl at arms length. Never had Lexa actually brought a girl to the shelter. Clarke felt different, but Lexa was still uncertain. _“I’ll talk to Clarke, but it’s such short notice, let’s not get our hopes us. Besides, I don’t even know if she can sew.”_

Anya nodded. _“Cool. You want to help me cook dinner?”_ Lexa nodded, getting up. Cooking for fifty-two alone was no fun. Tonight was pasta and meatballs, and Anya had made the batter this morning from scratch.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clarke plays softball and is athletic enough to have an old injury and Lexa comes to watch the game (not knowing its Clarke's)

“C’mon Clarke!”

“Yeah Miss G!” Cheers echoed, as Clarke got ready to bat, a grin crossing her face. The student-faculty softball tournament was Clarke’s favorite event of the year and she was going to do everything in her power to get her team to participate. 

Since the science department was so big, they divided up into three teams, physical sciences, chemical science, and biological sciences, and competed for who would represent them. Clarke’s one fatal mistake was looking back into the crowd. Lexa sat in between Octavia and Tris. Clarke’s breath caught; she stretched her neck, refocusing on the chemistry teacher at the mound. They had creamed the physics team the week before, but that hadn’t come as a surprise. The physics team was really good at theory, but not so good at practicing. The chemistry team was proving to be more of a challenge. Clarke’s team, the biology team, was down by one and the bases were loaded.

“Ready to get annihilated Griffin?” Monty teased through his catcher’s gear. Clarke scoffed, trying to forget about the green eyes that had been tracing her every move.

“Dream on Green. We’re going to kick your ass just like we kicked Miller’s ass last month in the staff-security game.” Clarke taunted back. Monty laughed, as Clarke looked straight at the ball. Jasper made a sign at the pitching mount. In the past there have been chemistry teachers who weren’t interested in playing, so Clarke had played for both teams. (Which Raven tactfully point out as incredibly fitting considering her sexuality. There were few words to describe Raven other than Raven.) She had learned Monty and Jasper’s signals, but now all she could think about was that stupid brunette.

“Strike One.” Kane’s voice broke Clarke’s trance. She sighed, shaking her head. She glanced back to see Octavia and Lexa passing notes to each other. Clarke turned back to Jasper and swung way too hard. “Strike Two!” The tradition of the principal umpiring the game was interesting. Marcus Kane wasn’t the worst umpire there was, but he certainly wasn’t good. Kane and Clarke’s mom had gone to high school together and apparently Marcus was not athletic in high school, at all.

Clarke glanced back. Lexa grinned and flashed Clarke a thumbs up. Jasper made a different sign and Clarke realized what it was. That ass hat was going to throw a curveball. Clarke grinned, knowing she could hit it. Clarke had softball in her blood. Her mom had played in high school; her dad played baseball in both high school and college. She played in little league when she was young, and she played softball in high school. She would have played in college too, if she hadn’t hurt her shoulder riding a motorcycle with her ex, Niylah.

A satisfying crack of the softball against her bat told Clarke she had hit the ball, and she had hit it well. Without thinking Clarke took off. She found the ball with her eyes and knew she could make it to at least second, if not third. Clarke wasn’t really an athlete, with the exception of this game. When Clarke was three, she asked her parents each day to take her to the park, and for three hundred and sixty five days, they did, always around five or six. All Clarke ever wanted to do was draw in the sand, or run around the bases.

Staying on third was safe, but all three of their players had made it to home, so they were going to win by one anyway. Clarke took the chance and propelled herself towards home base. “Shit.” Clarke swore under her breath, realizing she’d have to slide in order to make it. She tried to avoid doing such things because contrary to popular belief she did actually like pitching and lifting things above her head. The moment Clarke did it; she knew she shouldn’t have. “Shit.” Clarke murmured. She was going to be sore for a few weeks.

“Clarke…” Clarke heard Octavia’s voice come through the crowd. “You okay bud?” Clarke pulled herself up and flashed a smile in Octavia’s direction.

“Sorry about that. You okay?” Monty asked, getting up and offering Clarke his hand. Clarke shrugged it off, taking Monty’s hand and letting him help pull her up.

“You think something that lame would keep me down.” Clarke grunted, trying to ignore the searing pain in her shoulder. “Nice try with that whole annihilation thing. Want to go cry to your boyfriend?” Clarke playfully jabbed Monty as they headed back to their respective dugouts.

“At least Nathan loves me.” Monty said overdramatically. Clarke laughed and threw her arm around Monty’s shoulders.

“See you later bro?” Clarke asked before parting ways and heading towards their respective teams. 

“Later Clarke!” Monty grinned. Clarke, Monty, and Jasper had all met in high school when the boys had set an ‘accidental’ fire in Clarke’s AP Chemistry class. That was certainly a fun year. Somehow they had all ended up teaching at the same school and Clarke loved both of the massive goofballs.

“Hey Clarke dearest,” Before Clarke knew it Octavia was at her side. “Why could you not just stay on third base?”

Clarke scoffed; “C’mon O, I’m a Griffin and it’s **softball**!” Octavia rolled her eyes and pulled Clarke into a noogie.

“Oh Clarke and your girl is here.” Octavia smirked as they approached Lexa and Clarke’s student Tris. 

“Hey Miss. G, this is uh,” Tris started, motioning to Lexa. “This is my uh,” Tris sighed, an amused look rested in Lexa’s eye, but also a concerned one. “This is Lexa, she takes care of me.”

Clarke grinned. “Do you sign Tris?” For a split second, Clarke could see the surprise on Tris’s face.

“Yeah, why? You could tell Lexa was deaf, how?” Tris wore the same look as when Clarke explained a complex concept in class for the first time.

“We’ve met. I didn’t know you lived with her. A different woman came to Open House for you, no?” Clarke thought back to a few months before. She definitely remembered someone saying they were Tris’s guardians but she didn’t think it was Lexa. 

“Well I don’t live with her exactly, but yeah it was Anya who was there. Lexa owns the shelter where I live, but Anya is a staple there. Besides Lexa had to go to the twin’s teachers.” Clarke raised an eyebrow; Lexa was certainly becoming more and more interesting as Clarke learned more and Clarke couldn’t help but grin.

“Any way you can interpret what I say, all I know in sign language is ‘hi my name is’.” Clarke asked hesitantly. Tris nodded. “You are certainly full of surprises Lexa.” Clarke tried to not look like she was widely attracted to her student’s guardian (despite the fact that she really wanted to talk and kiss and snuggle and other things with Lexa).

“Good or bad surprises?” Lexa asked, seemingly nervously.

“Good.” Clarke offered, clenching her jaw in attempt to stop the grin threatening to monopolize on her face. 

“Wait, Miss Griffin, you’re an artist too right?” Tris asked, then signed what Clarke assumed was the same thing. 

“Yeah, why?” Clarke shifted her eyes from one of them to the other.

“Well, we have twins at the shelter,” Tris started despite what looked like protests from Lexa. “They’re ten, and we kind of wanted to let them dress up and trick or treat, but costumes are really expensive. We,” Lexa slapped Tris lightly, “Fine, I was wondering if you’d be willing to make costumes. I know it’s short notice.”

“No, dude, done. What do they want to be? I’m not the best seamstress, but I’ll do my best.” Tris laughed. “Ah, teachers don’t usually call their students dude. Hazards of teaching high school at 25, sorry. Just let me know sometime what I should be making.”

Tris shrugged, “Will do, besides the cool teachers do.”

“Nice, nice, I’m cool.” With a quick burst of confidence Clarke added, “make sure to tell her that,” before she ran up to Octavia, Monty, and Jasper heading out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lincoln meets the family and Octavia's worried until she figures out she can twist it around so that Clarke has to talk about girls

Octavia was nervous as hell. Theoretically, she shouldn’t be, but she was. She had dated a lot; she had slept around a lot (in college of course, she was more mature now that she was 24 years old). She had not; however, introduced a whole bunch of guys to her mom. Bellamy had insisted on meeting each one who she dated for more than a few weeks. He had met Lincoln, but it wasn’t the same thing.

“Worry much?” Lincoln asked softly, roping his arms around her waist.

“Lincoln, shouldn’t you be the one worried?” Clarke asked, as Octavia snuggled into Lincoln. Octavia could feel her boyfriend’s chuckle echo through his chest. 

“Probably, but I think O is worrying enough for the both of us.” Lincoln planted a kiss on Octavia’s cheek as they swayed back and forth together. Octavia had been stressing about the meeting, so Clarke suggested that they all meet in the park. Unfortunately, Clarke meant ALL of them. Now, not only, was Octavia worried about her own mother’s opinion but also Abby and Jake’s. Octavia grumbled, but her boyfriend wasn’t completely wrong. 

“Muffin!” Octavia whirled around at the sound of her mother’s voice. Approaching her was Bellamy, her mom, Jake, and Abby. Bellamy wore a smirk at Octavia’s old nickname.

“It’ll be fine.” Lincoln whispered into Octavia’s ear, before he took his arms from around her. Before she knew it, Octavia was tangled between three sets of arms all trying to crush her at once.

“You must be Lincoln.” Her mom grinned, seemingly scrutinizing the large man before her. “You may be big,” She warned, “But if you hurt her,” Octavia groaned. After they escaped her dad, both Bellamy and her mom were extremely overprotective. Granted spending eight years under a floorboard wasn’t fun, she didn’t need them to protect her. “I will destroy you. Is that clear?”

“Same.” Jake added before Lincoln could speak. Lincoln bowed his head slightly.

“I would never dream of it, Ma’am, Sir.” Octavia grinned. She had known there was no reason to worry, yet still should hadn’t been able to help it. Here; though, now, she couldn’t deny the fact that her boyfriend was going impress everyone. 

“Ma,” Bellamy started after they sat down at one of the picnic tables, “You should tell the story about O’s first encounter with chocolate cake.” Octavia rolled her eyes, it was not a funny story; it was pure embarrassment. In her defense, she was five when she first had chocolate cake, and cake for that matter, and goddamnit it was good so what if it got everywhere.

“You don’t think he’s seen photos?” Clarke approached, saving both Octavia and Lincoln from the longwinded story. 

“Damn, you always ruin all my fun Griffin.” Bellamy teased, inviting Clarke to sit next to him. When she sat, Bellamy flung his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in. The two had been close since they’d met, and people always asked Octavia if they were a couple (despite the fact that she thought that idea was absurd). Clarke was just as much her sibling as was Bellamy. “If we can’t tell embarrassing Octavia stories, can I at least ask about your sex,” All adults winced, “sorry romance life?”

“Yes Clarke,” Octavia grinned, trying not to feel like a traitor, since Clarke did just save her, “Tell us about any new _girls_ or boys in your life.” Octavia couldn’t help herself, she really couldn’t. She was her and it was just to easy.

“No one new.” Clarke shrugged, not meeting anyone’s eyes. From Abby’s expression, Octavia could tell Clarke had mentioned Lexa to her mom.

“Well, if you’re looking,” Aurora squinted her eyes. “I think that there is a brunette who thinks you’re cute.” Clarke turned to look at what Aurora had seen. Octavia followed her lead. 

“How did you know she was into Clarke, Mom? I train with her; she’s deaf.” Octavia asked, only flinching a bit when Clarke kicked her in the shin.

“I’ve been working at an audiology clinic. One of the teenage boys has been teaching me the fun words.” Aurora grinned, “She and the other girl were motioning this way, something about a sexy blonde and the girl wanted to make coffee, but I suppose that should be make out, with her.”

Octavia huffed a laugh, “Clarke you should go over there. You really do need to get laid.” The adults groaned in synchronous. “She needs to find love?” Octavia rephrased.

Jake nodded, “Much better, now my sweet daughter, you may go talk to the pretty girl.” Clarke laughed, rolling her eyes.   
  
“I’m not going to do that.” Octavia shot Clarke a glance, making Clarke shift uncomfortably. Abby leaned over, whispering something to Clarke, which made Clarke stand. “I guess I’m going to do that. Lincoln Godspeed.”

* * *

 _“Hey, I’m going to go. I’ll be back later?”_ Lexa scrunched her eyes at Anya. Why would her older sister be abandoning her? The park wasn’t really a typical spot for the Woods sisters, but they wanted to throw a party fundraiser for the shelter and the park was looking like the best spot. When Lexa looked around to inspect, it all started to make sense. A blonde with striking blue eyes that they had just been talking about was making her way to Lexa.

“Clarke, fancy seeing you here.” Lexa smiled, standing up. Clarke bit her lip, which okay definitely turned Lexa on and it really shouldn’t have because she and Clarke weren’t even together and they wouldn’t communicate and jeeze Lexa had to get her head out of the gutter.

 _“Hey, my mom and”_ Clarke made a face, obviously trying to come up with the signs that explained why she was at the park.

If Lexa had to guess, she would say that Clarke huffed but since Lexa couldn’t hear her, she wasn’t positive. Clarke pulled out her phone. She tapped away for a few minutes, before handing it to Lexa. 

**Sorry to bother you, my family over there, they kind of sent me over here. I hope that’s not weird. My sort of second mom, sort of aunt apparently knows sign language and she said something about a “sexy blonde” and yeah, I should go shouldn’t I? Sorry I couldn’t sign this.**

Lexa was positive her face turned a violent shade of red because she could feel the heat radiating from her face. “Clarke, did you take a foreign language in high school?” Lexa asked, ignoring the humiliation that was circling. She really hoped her second mom didn’t know the sign for fuck because a stranger calling a kid you care about sexy one thing, but saying you’d like to have sex with them was a whole different thing. Clarke nodded. “Were you fluent in a few weeks? I’m going to guess no. ASL is a language of it’s own. Besides you have a job too.” Clarke smiled, taking her phone back, before typing something and returning back to Lexa.

**So are we going to address the fact that you called me sexy or are we just going to ignore it.**

Lexa paused, gathering courage. “We could ignore it, and go for ice cream instead.” Clarke smiled, glancing back at the picnic table where she had come from. 

“Sure. _Yes.”_ Lexa was shit at lip reading, but she had seen girls say yes before. She grinned before taking off hand-in-hand with Clarke.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa talk on the way to the ice cream parlor and Anya and Lexa have a talk.

“Hey, I want to try something.” Lexa broke the comfortable silence about half way through their ten-minute walk. Clarke met the other girl’s eyes and nodded. “We’ve been having movie nights a lot at the shelter, and sometimes the movies the twins want don’t have closed captions so I’ve had to pay attention more to what the actors are saying and…”

Clarke grinned; Lexa babbling was adorable. Before Lexa could continue Clarke stopped and pulled Lexa into a kiss. “I wanted to try something too. I hope it’s okay.” Clarke grinned, biting her lip.

“Very.” Lexa flexed her jaw in effort not to grin like an idiot. “Can I continue or did you want to continue with your activity?” 

Clarke laughed. She would love to continue kissing Lexa, but they had to walk to get to the ice cream parlor still. “Continue. We can continue my activity later.”

Lexa grinned, focusing only on Clarke’s lips. “I’ve been working on reading lips, so we can talk, and not pass notes.”

Clarke laughed. “And here I thought passing notes was romantic.” She bumped Lexa lightly with her hip.

“I don’t know,” Clarke could feel herself blush under Lexa’s intense gaze. “Your handwriting is pretty terrible.” Lexa giggled, squeezing Clarke’s hand lightly.

“Is yours any better?” Clarke challenged. She knew she had handwriting that resembled chicken scratch (her students weren’t shy about letting her know), but it really wasn’t that terrible. 

“For your information, my hand writing is beautiful.” Lexa laughed. She was seven when the school introduced cursive. Lexa had latched onto it and her mom had helped her learn. Lexa’s handwriting was picturesque cursive. Lexa shrugged, a comeback coming into her head. “Maybe you should have been a doctor; you’ve got the handwriting.”

Clarke hit Lexa lightly with her other hand, not breaking their hands. “Haha, haven’t heard that one before.” Clarke stuck her tongue out at the girl, who quickly went to grab it. Clarke dodged her before pecking Lexa on the cheek.

“Fine, fine. What are you going to get at the ice cream shop?” Lexa asked. Clarke shrugged thinking about her favorite flavor.

“I don’t know, mint chocolate chip? What about you?” Clarke sighed, “God Lexa, I know you have to look at my lips but it’s _really_ distracting.”

Lexa’s eyebrows knit together. “You’re speaking to fast Clarke, I got everything up to my name.” She said softly. Clarke turned a light shade of red.

“Sorry.” Clarke offered biting her lip. Lexa was not a fan of this nervous tick of Clarke’s. “It was nothing. Answer my ice cream question.”

“Cookies and Cream.” Lexa paused, contemplating whether or not to elaborate. She normally wouldn’t, but there was something about Clarke that pulled the information from her. “It was my dad’s favorite and after he died it kind of became mine.” Lexa shrugged.

 _“Can I say sorry?”_ Clarke signed. She knew that sometimes ‘sorry’ was the last thing someone who had lost a loved one wanted to hear.

“Yeah, it’s never easy without a dad, but he died when I was nine.” Lexa explained, “Both my parents died in the accident where I lost my hearing.”

“You don’t have to go into it if you don’t want.” Clarke offered softly, realizing Lexa probably wouldn’t notice the difference.

“If you’re willing to listen, I wouldn’t mind.” Lexa gulped, she never talked about her parents’ deaths. The only person in her world that knew was her sister. Clarke nodded, taking her hand from Lexa’s and wrapped it around Lexa’s waist. “My parents were bringing me home from a sleepover. It was only my third or fourth because I wasn’t very popular, and I missed them and my sister. They were on a date when I called. Some trucker ran a red light and then it was all over. My dad died on impact, my mom,” Lexa pressed her eyes closed, trying desperately not to cry. Clarke ran her hand up and down Lexa’s back, her heart breaking with Lexa’s sadness. “My mom sung to me while she died. It’s the last noise I heard.”

“Wow, that sucks.” Clarke started, making Lexa laugh away the tears.

“Thank you Clarke I love the support.” Lexa rolled her eyes with a smile, taking Clarke’s hand back into her own. Clarke laughed, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. “What are you doing?” Lexa asked, looking for clues in Clarke’s face.

Clarke pulled Lexa closer, and Lexa expected a kiss. Lexa did not get a kiss. Somehow, just having Clarke hold her in a hug made Lexa feel ten times better. “C’mon, I’m dying for some ice cream.” Clarke said, pulling Lexa along to the brightly lit sign a block away.

* * *

“Anya! I’m home!” Lexa called, walking into their attached apartment. Anya appeared from her bedroom, fully engulfed in her bunny onesie. A few years ago, they did an Easter egg hunt to raise money and they had bought matching onesies to be the Easter bunny and they were so comfortable.

 _“Late night? You with your girl?”_ Lexa nodded.

 _“You know she does have a name and I don’t actually own her.”_ Anya had taken to calling Clarke ‘Lexa’s girl’ and as much as it sounded good, Lexa was weary. They had barely gone out and Lexa was scared of how much she felt. 

 _“Yes I know Clarke has a name,”_ Anya started, making a point to call her Clarke, _“She’s different though. Special?”_ Special was one word to describe Clarke. 

 _“Yeah. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this way.”_ Just thinking about Clarke made her smile; it was a little ridiculous. 

 _“I see that Smiley. When do I get to meet her?”_ Lexa’s heart skipped a beat. She had never actually introduced Anya to anyone. It was kind of scary. _“Too early to ask that question? You know I have to not only look after you as a sister, but I also have to do Mom and Dad’s job.”_

Lexa laughed, rolling her eyes. _“It’s not too early. We were talking when we got ice cream and she lives in an apartment building with a lot of preteens. They’re doing a thing that apartments with candy are putting out pumpkins so the kids can go trick-or-treating. Clarke thought maybe the twins could go out there?”_ Lexa taped her foot anxiously. 

 _“This is going fast. Are you sure?”_ Lexa shrugged. 

 _“Not really, but I’m tired of being alone.”_ Lexa said honestly. Anya nodded, understanding what Lexa had said. Anya had been plagued with more death than anyone should have. When Lexa was eighteen and Anya was twenty-one, Anya met someone. They were probably soul mates, but they only got five years. After only five years of bliss, he died. Anya was twenty-six and had lost both her parents and the love of her life. She’d been alone ever since. _“Not that your bad company but c’mon, if you could bring him back, wouldn’t you?”_

Anya winced but nodded. _“Go full force. You know that quote about loving and losing is better than not loving at all?”_ Lexa nodded, _“It’s true.”_


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets to know Aden a little bit and then Lexa and Clarke chill with the sunset.

Tris loved biology. She loved inheritance and she loved osmosis. She wanted to be a doctor for god sakes. What Tris did not like was Advanced Placement biology. The course was 90 percent reading an incomprehensible book. Miss Griffin was a great teacher, possibly one of Tris’ best, but she couldn’t do too much to compensate for the rigorous curriculum.

“Hey Tris!” Charlotte climbed up from one side of Tris’ top bunk. Before she could get her mind from cell communication, Aden appeared on the other side of her. “We’re bored.” Tris tore her eyes away from Campbell. (Naming her textbook was dorky, she’d admit it, but she wasn’t the only one. The chemistry kids had Hurley, and the APUSH kids had Nash, so Tris only saw it fit that the bio kids had Campbell.)

“We have this art project. We have to draw the stars, would you be able to help?” Tris grinned, finally understanding what the kids wanted. Lexa ran the shelter with a gentle iron fist. No one went out after seven unless they had an excuse in advance. An art assignment would definitely suffice, but that would get them just in the back yard. The stars were shit where they were, and Lexa wouldn’t take them out when they could still actually see the stars from the shelter.

“You want me to bring you to ‘see a move’?” Tris asked, raising an eyebrow. Being the older bad influence was so much more fun than being the young impressionable one. She had come to the shelter the year Lexa opened it and had immediately made friends with one of the older girls, Emori. Tris had really loved Emori as an older sister, but she had gotten into petty theft, so Lexa banned Tris from seeing her. It was probably better in the long run, but sometimes, Tris missed her. She tried her best to be Charlotte and Aden’s Emori, only with a better future.

“We wanted to draw at the park, but we know Lexa probably won’t go for it.” Aden piped up. Tris slid from under her sheets and used the actual ladder to get to the ground. Aden and Charlotte hopped down at the same time. Tris let out a laugh; sometimes the similarities between the twins were crazy. They just understood what the other was about to do.

The three of them made their way from Tris’ dorm to the dining area where Lexa was sitting, eyes scrunched, staring down her tablet. Tris stopped abruptly, reaching both arms out to stop the twins, when she saw a flash of blond approaching Lexa. She had heard whispers between Anya and Echo about Lexa having a new girl. The blond leaned over Lexa’s shoulder as Tris squinted her eyes, trying to see the minute features on the blonde’s face and nearly lost it when she recognized her. “Miss G?”

Tris’ teacher’s head snapped up, causing Lexa to look in the blonde’s direction. Clarke grinned, knowing they’d have to have this awkward conversation one day or another, because Clarke was not planning on stopping seeing Lexa. “Hey Tris, I was just dropping off the costumes for the twins, I’m guessing this is them.” Clarke motioned to the two Tris was dragging on each of her sides.

Tris nodded, realizing if her teacher was the new girl Lexa was seeing, she could totally use this situation to her advantage. “Nice; yeah they both actually have an art project, we were just about to ask Lexa if I could take them to the park tonight.” Tris said slowly, signing at the same time to make sure Lexa got the request. Clarke’s face lit up. 

“Would it be weird if we all went, because I’ve been dying to sketch the park at night.” Clarke looked like a kid on Christmas Eve. 

“You’re an artist?” Aden gaped, “wait, you made, oh my gosh!” Aden squealed taking his costume from Clarke and examining the Deadpool costume. “He’s my favorite, thank you. Do you have any sketches on you? Can you show me how to like sketch well?” Before Aden can babble any longer, Charlotte slipped over and wrapped her arm around her brother’s neck and covered his mouth with her hand.

“Excuse my brother, he’s an artist.” Charlotte scrunched her nose and rolled her eyes. Clarke just looked amused.

“Never apologize for being an artist.” Tris signed what she could to Lexa of what the three were saying, “I do have some stuff, but I’m rusty. I’ll show it to you if you’d like.” Aden nodded furiously, Charlotte’s hand still covering his mouth. Clarke motioned for everyone to sit back down, and they did. Clarke’s bag was filled with different sized notebooks and papers. She wiggled her fingers at the bag in concentration, like she had down a thousand times in two months in class. With an ‘aha’ she pulled out a small sketchpad with a poor drawing on the cover.

Clarke opened the notebook to the first page where there was a crayon drawing of a family. “I drew this when I was nine years old. You drawing better than that Aden?” The boy nodded, and Clarke smiled. “Then you’re doing well. You want to see how I draw now?” Again, Aden nodded, and Clarke flipped through the pages.

 _“Hey, wait,”_ Lexa put in when Clarke went past one of the last pages.

 _“What?”_ Tris asked, unsure of what her Lexa (she really had to come up with a better name for who Lexa was to her) had seen.

 _“Go back Clarke.”_ Clarke seemed to hesitate, but flipped the page backwards. A light blush started to grace Clarke’s cheek as she bit her lip. That was one move, Tris wasn’t used to seeing. 

On the page Clarke had skipped, there was a beautiful and accurate sketch of Lexa. She was smiling and somehow her eyes were bright through the drawing. Clarke had gotten everything down to the creases in Lexa’s face absolutely perfect. “DAMN Miss G, why are you teaching bio?” Tris was astonished. 

“When I was little I read my moms _Human Body_ book for fun. Biology has always been my brain challenge while art my outlet.” Clarke said simply, turning to Lexa. _“What do you think?”_  

 _“I love it.”_ Lexa’s eyes met Clarke’s and suddenly Tris felt like she was intruding on some intimate moment.

“Oh-kay,” Tris broke the silence, “So we can go tonight? Cool, I’m just gonna, c’mon kiddos.” Tris ushered Charlotte and Aden away, not waiting for Lexa’s protests.

* * *

Clarke was sketching the colors of the sky when she caught sight of Lexa and the twins. She was lucky she had shown Aden her 9-plus sketchbook and not her 4-plus because the last page of that one was an unfinished sketch she wasn’t ready for anyone to see. It wasn’t something she had seen, or something she had touched. It was more of a dream. It may have been her and Lexa kissing. “Clarke?” Clarke’s neck snapped up, not realizing how quickly Lexa had approached.

 _“Hey, kids drawing?”_ Lexa nodded, taking a seat next to Clarke. _“Beautiful.”_ Clarke nodded; the sky was amazing tonight. _“Not the sky Clarke.”_ Clarke furrowed her brow. If it wasn’t the sky, what was Lexa talking about? The colors fused really well, how could it not be the sky. _“You’re really that dense aren’t you? You Clarke. You are beautiful.”_ Lexa signed slowly; she wanted to make sure Clarke got every word of it. Clarke turned away, a warmth on her cheeks. Lexa brushed the back of her hand against Clarke’s jaw softly. _“Sorry, too much?”_ Lexa asked timidly, once she regained eye contact with the blonde.

 _“No. It’s sweet.”_ Clarke laid her head lazily on Lexa’s shoulder. She felt like she could stay like this for an eternity.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have similar dreams, Raven and Anya meet, and Clarke learns something new about Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all right so my writing is a little rusty, but i'm trying to get back into it. it's probably shorter than it should be, but i promise it won't be another few months before i update.

When Lexa's arms wrapped around Clarke's waist, the blonde hummed in satisfaction. She knew Lexa couldn't hear it, but from the smirk that came to grace Lexa's face, Clarke could tell that Lexa felt the vibrations. Clarke was calmed than she had ever been in Lexa's embrace. Right as Lexa's hands started to wander over Clarke's body, Clarke heard Raven's voice.  
  
"It's not my fault she came home late O. She's suppose to be up!"  
  
"I know but she's tired and she's going to see Lexa tonight, shouldn't she be well-rested for that."  
  
"Oh please, she's a big girl." Then a pause. "CLARKE CMON!"  
  
"Raven Reyes!"  
  
Clarke rolled over, realizing she had been wrapped around a pillow while she dreamed about her girlfriend. She sighed, while the dream had been false, she could say that Lexa was her girlfriend. "I'm up Reyes what do you want?" Clarke called from her bed, as she rubbed her eyes. Within seconds, Raven bursts through the door, an apologetic Octavia by her side. "Rave, just a reminder, this is why I'll live with O and not you." Clarke grumbled, sitting up.   
  
Raven huffed, "let me guess, you were having some horny teenager like dream about Lexa. Well sweet pea, instead of dreaming about the brunette, why don't you go see her? Better yet, why don't you go get coffee with me, like you promised." Raven raised an eyebrow. Clarke had to give it to her, Raven knew her well.   
  
"Fine, fine, fine." Clarke grumbled, physically rolling out of her bed with a thunk. She had totally forgotten about her promise of coffee with Raven. "O you wanna come?" Clarke asked, starting to change without waiting for her best friends to leave.   
  
"As long as y'all promise not to discuss that dream you were having." Octavia's face contorted, making both Raven and Clarke laugh. Clarke and Octavia were like siblings, and neither really wanted to think about the other having sex. It was weird.  
  
"Deal." Clarke said, maybe a little too quickly, which of course made Raven smirk. Clarke rolled her eyes, her friends were such pains, but they were her pains. 

* * *

Lexa woke up to violent shaking. It was suppose to be her day off, at least until tonight, and she had been having one of her new favorite dreams. Her parents were there; her dad playing and her mom singing. Anya, fully grown, was playing, a grin solidly plastered on her face. Lexa was whirling Clarke around as they whispered in each other's ears, and Lexa could hear Clarke.   
  
It only took a few swift hand motions before all was forgotten.  _"Aden and Charlotte are screaming."_ Lexa couldn't say she was surprised by the occurrence. Titus had been one of her dad's old friends, and he often helped Lexa out at the shelter, but he didn't do the whole emotions thing. The twins had woken up screaming before and each time Titus just woke Lexa and told her as much. Lexa shot up and made her way to the double room closest to her own room.   
  
"Charlotte I told you would wake everyone up!" Aden castigated his sister once Lexa opened the door. Lexa tried to analyze the situation through the cloud of fatigue she was desperately trying to shake off.   
  
_"Sorry Lexa."_ Charlotte signed nervously. _"There's, there's a spider somewhere and I woke up next to it and it kinda freaked me out."_ Charlotte explained sheepishly. Lexa's couldn't help the laugh that echoed through her chest. A spider? She had been so terrified something had happened but it was just a spider.   
  
"Cmon kiddos, what do you think of hot cocoa and a pastry at the coffee shop?" Aden started to grin, but neither made a move to get down. Lexa checked a little bit more and made her way over to the bunk. She heard her arms up, knowing neither of the kids wanted to go near the floor. Aden climbed into her arms first and she carried him to outside the small double room. When Lexa returned for Charlotte, she didn't seem as keen as her brother.   
  
_"But we're in our pjs and we don't have shoes."_ Charlotte signed hesitantly. Lexa just smiled, holding her arms out for Charlotte.   
  
"Please, I spent many years in my pjs and shoeless there. Besides, Anya and I own it, so we decide the dress code." Lexa put Charlotte down next to her brother with a grunt. They were really getting too old for Lexa to carry, even for short distances. "Cmon munchkins, let's start off Halloween on a good foot." With one twin on each side of Lexa, they walked down the street to get to the coffee shop. 

* * *

Anya loved working at the coffee shop. As much as she loved her gym, there was something so magical about how people interacted pre and post coffee in their quaint little shop. When she had gotten there at 6, Lexa, Aden, and Charlotte were already there. It had been three hours since she'd arrived, but the three were still doing the same things. Aden drew, while Charlotte and Lexa sat by the piano in the corner.  
  
Anya had been nervous when Charlotte shyly asked about taking piano lessons; she hadn't been able to breathe when Lexa scoffed, but when Lexa said she'd teach Charlotte, Anya's heart had grown three sizes. 

"This coffee better be amazing Griffin because you made me walk this-" Anya lifted her head at the mention of Clarke's last name. There was a group of three girls entering from the left door, only two of which Anya recognized: Clarke (who's eyes had immediately drifted over to where Lexa was teaching Charlotte how to play piano) and Octavia (who had found her way to Lincoln at the counter within moments.) Anya's eyes; however, stayed trained on the third, who met her gaze with a deep brown gaze.   
  
"Anya! Hey how are you!" Octavia's cheerful chirps broke Anya away from the third party. "Since when does Lexa play the piano? This is my buddy Raven!" Octavia motioned. While the younger girl whipped around, presumably looking for Clarke, Anya shook Raven's hand.   
  
Clarke couldn't keep the slight smile from her lips as she watched Lexa explain to Charlotte tips on how to play piano. Clarke almost felt as if she was impinging on their privacy since Lexa's back was to her. Slowly, Clarke made her way over, barely noticing the odd exchange between one of her best friends and her girlfriend's older sister. Clarke waved a little to Charlotte, who motioned to Lexa that there was someone coming up behind her. Lexa smiled as Clarke placed a hand gently on Lexa's back. Charlotte quickly excused herself and headed over to her brother. "Since when do you play?" Clarke signed. She hadn't meant to end up in Lexa's lap when she sat down, but somehow she had ended up there. She wasn't sure if she edged herself into Lexa, or Lexa had pulled her close, or maybe both.  
  
Lexa smiled into Clarke's shoulder. She couldn't remember a time without music. "Well, I've been playing and singing since I could. My family was very musical, but I haven't played in years. Charlotte just asked me to teach her and who could say no to that face?" A smile spread across Clarke's face as she stood up. Lexa's small pout at Clarke's departure made the blonde smile.  
  
"Will you play me something some time?" Clarke asked hesitantly. Lexa nodded with a smile and that's all the promise Clarke needed. "Coffee with us?" Clarke asked, holding out her hand for Lexa.   
  
"Of course." Lexa smiled, taking Clarke's hand.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another tiny chapter of questionable quality but i really hope to get an at least okay chapter of 1.5-2k words out to y'all before i leave for college and go AWOL for a few months!

The first thing Octavia noticed when she entered her home wasn’t the extravagant decorations Clarke had set up, nor the smell of Momma Griff’s famous homemade macaroni and cheese. The first thing Octavia noticed wasn’t the sexually charged conversation being had between Raven and Anya (though she’d have to castigate Raven for that later) nor the two pre-teens running around the apartment being chased by a teenager. The first thing Octavia noticed when she entered her home was the idle touches between her best friend and her trainer’s little sister. 

When Clarke and Lexa had first started dating, Clarke’s behavior was much different than Octavia had expected. Clarke had always been a tactile person. When they had taken ‘How Do You Learn?’ quizzes in high school, Clarke always was a kinesthetic learner by a long shot, only to be followed by visual learner. Clarke had always favored charcoal over every other medium because of the texture. When they went to parties in college, Clarke could usually be found grinding against someone on the dance floor, her hands never stopping. When Clarke was in a relationship, she and her partner were in almost constant contact. It didn’t have to be sexual or public displays of affection, but small touches. When Clarke started dating Lexa, it seemed as if Clarke was more weary to touch the brunette, like she didn’t want to push Lexa past her comfort zone.

It appeared though, that they had moved past that stage. Clarke was perched on her counter, because as many times as Octavia tried to tell that that wasn’t what adults did, Clarke insisted, while Lexa leaned next to her, her hand under Clarke’s. Clarke’s thumb was in constant motion, gently stroking near Lexa’s wrist. When Lexa wasn’t looking, Clarke’s eyes would trace the girls silhouette, a smile never leaving her face. 

“Hey!” Clarke cheered when she tore her eyes away from her girlfriend and spotted Octavia taking in the scene. “Okedoke, Octavia is here, so now we can eat!” Clarke hopped down from the counter, gave Lexa a quick kiss, and signed  _ dinner  _ before springing into action. Knowing two people, let alone four in their little kitchen was far too many, so Octavia settled into her chair in their still small, but slightly larger, sitting area. They had a table in their kitchen, but it sat two, not eight.

“Tris, Charlotte, Aden, come get your plates.” Octavia nearly rolled her eyes at the commanding motherly tone that came across in Lexa’s voice, but it seemed to work because all of a sudden the three kids ceased their play and fell into a line. There wasn’t quite enough seating, so Tris, Charlotte, and Aden squished into the loveseat (though Charlotte and Aden were small enough that they weren’t too squished, Raven and Anya shared a recliner (despite Octavia’s disapproving look and the two’s constant bicker), and Octavia ditched her recliner for a desk chair from her and Clarke’s shared bedroom, so Clarke and Lexa could share the second recliner. 

When the lovebirds finally appeared from the kitchen, Lexa was carrying both of their plates. A slight blush graced Lexa’s cheeks while Clarke’s arms were roped around Lexa’s body and her face nuzzled into the crook of Lexa’s neck. Raven’s the first to comment on the newfound intimacy. “Wow, you finally doing the normal Clarke thing now C?” She asked; next to her, Anya scrambled to translate for Lexa. 

Lexa’s eyebrows furrowed, looking from Anya to Clarke. “What’s the normal Clarke thing?” Clarke appeared to be just as confused Lexa, just shrugging in response. 

“Oh c’mon!” Raven scoffed, shooting her eyes between Octavia and Clarke, “Back me up O”

With a sigh, Octavia resigned and started to explain. “Clarke’s a very touchy person” Octavia didn’t miss the older girl, Tris, shift uncomfortably, if Octavia wasn’t wrong, Clarke was the teenager’s biology teacher, so she understood. “When you two first started dating there weren’t a lot of idle touches.” Even as Octavia talked and Anya interpreted, Clarke played with Lexa’s hair. “Usually Clarke doesn’t keep her hands to herself and look now she’s not, so that’s all.” Octavia finished quickly, noticing the small frown that started to cross Lexa’s face. Clarke just rolled her eyes while one hand still played with the short wisps of Lexa’s hair, close to her scalp and abandoned by her braid, and the other lazily wandered up and down Lexa’s thigh. 

Dinner passed quickly and rather quietly. Raven and Anya bickered, Aden asked “Clarke about art. Tris, Charlotte and Lexa were in discussion about something, but Octavia couldn’t quite keep up on the exact conversation. They were engulfed in frivolous chatter when the gaggle of preteens and their parents appeared at the door. “An, why don’t you all go ahead. Clarke and I will do the dishes.” Octavia and Raven both shot up, both eager not to do the dishes.

* * *

“So,” Lexa spoke up once the two had found a routine for the dishes. Clarke sat on the counter, drying the dishes after Lexa washed them thoroughly. “You’re a touchy person?” She asked tentatively. She didn’t want to pry, but the fact that she hadn’t been initially physical with Lexa made doubt swirl in Lexa’s chest. It didn’t help that they hadn’t had sex yet.

Clarke just shrugged.  _ “Yeah.”  _ The look of doubt must have been broadcasted on Lexa’s face as Clarke leaned over and took Lexa’s hand in her own.  _ “Lexa. It’s not,”  _ Clarke paused, presumably trying to remember a sign,  _ “It’s not important.”  _ But it was important, wasn’t it? It was important enough that both Octavia and Raven noticed it’s absence. 

Lexa met Clarke’s gaze, clicking her tongue nervously. “Why wait? Why start now?” Lexa asked hesitantly; she hadn’t really realized when Clarke’s touches increased, but she certainly wasn’t complaining.

_ “Because, I love you.” _ Clarke signed, fear plainly covering her entire face. Wearily, Clarke held up a finger, asking Lexa to hold on. In the moment, Lexa couldn’t do anything but. She was sort of shocked, but also her heart swelled with the same feeling, but she was also kind of terrified. The last time she was in love it went so wrong. Clarke was different though, right? When Clarke returned, she was scribbling in a notebook, before handing it to Lexa.

**Lex,** **I** **it’s not like** **it wasn’t** **planned** **intentional, not being touchy with you. I guess I wasn’t sure about how you’d react at first, but then I don’t know. I can’t explain why I didn’t do what I normally did, but this hasn’t been a normal relationship for me. I’m not used to falling this fast or this hard.** **I’m not used to this much.**

Lexa barely finished the note before her lips were on Clarke’s and Clarke’s hands were wrapped around Lexa’s neck. “I love you Clarke.” Lexa whispered, her breath tickling Clarke’s ear. Somehow this was different than before and when Clarke’s hands dropped and started to explore, Lexa knew where this was going. She smiled, moving her kisses down Clarke’s jawline only to be pushed away. 

_ “Are you sure?” _   
“Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi to me on tumblr (my-queer-french-scars)


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